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9/25/2007

Translating Poetry

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Literature

— Mike @ 8:39 pm Edit This

While discussing the translation of poetry on a mailing list usually devoted to guns, politics and religion a former associate and current good friend of mine, Andrew Lagemann, wrote an interesting essay. First some backdrop

The original writer wrote

But one can translate Japanese poetry very effectively.

Poetry that focuses on capturing a moment, as Japanese poetry often
does, is often effectively translated.

Andrew responded with the following

Oh no no no, you will find many who disagree, particularly those native Japanese speakers who speak English fluently as well. Yes, many forms of Japanese poetry, the haiku being one, are designed to capture a single moment - a still frame of imagery and mood. But done effectively, it does so with a combination of literal word, allegory, cadence, and symbolism that can rarely be translated as a singular piece. A task as simple as ending on the right word may be impossible in the syntax of another language

I can not provide any examples because, frankly, I don’t speak Japanese, so I am relying on the claims of some who do. But I can give an English example.

Take, for instance, the work of Insane Clown Posse. I will use a verse from one of their more revered works, “Fuck The World”.

Fuck Celine Dion
And fuck Dionne Warwick
You both make me sick
Suck my dick

Attempting to translate into the closely related German

Bumsen celine dion
Und Bumsen dionne warwick
Von dir beide krank geworden
Meinen pimmel saugen

But that simply translates the English “Fuck” to the German “Bumsen”, their colloquial expression for coitus. Bumsen has none of the aggression and slander of the English. In fact, it would be taken as a statement of desire. Using the Anglicized “fick” does no better, it carries the same connotations.

Deviating to the closest German exression which would be almost as scandalous,

m’arsch lecken, Celine Dion
und Dionne Warwick auch

Is going to rob the poem of important parity that is going to become important now.

Line three sounds clumsy, and the best way to repair it is to drop the you both and go with the much more accusatory,

Du bildest mich krank

That works much better in German, but we’ve further lost the reference to the coupling, and now that we implore them,

Meinen pimmel saugen

Well, actually that doesn’t work. It’s not a Deutsch expression at all. You could come closer with

Meinen pimmel lecken

That sufferes from the same softening as “bumsen” did above. It simply lacks the verbal assualt that the English “suck my dick” conveys. But most importantly, we’ve lost one of the most appealing aspect of the verse already. The origianl verse started by pairing two popular divas of the time, both arguably overrated and conjoined by a coincidence of name that is also lost in German (The Germans pronounce Ms. Warwick’s first name as “DEEOhNeh”), and then targetted them with the only couplet of verbal sexual assault in the entire piece. “M’arsche lecke” has no sexual connotation. Although it is a command to lick one’s ass, the implication is that the person called out is worthy of no greater duty. The succinct and complete beauty of the verse is lost any way you go, and I challenge you to find a satisfying solution that also captures the original meaning. You are basically stuck with the chore of finding an equal but completely different poetic line in German.

9/25/2007

Translating Poetry

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